Looking for a mate- Part Two:
(See earlier post for part one)
*Conduct- How do they act?*
Are you looking for someone to date and potentially marry? The Bible says that people with the love of Christ stand out like shining stars. Where are you looking for Godly people? You are more likely to find them in some places than others. Just think about it….it’s not a hard concept. Godly people strive not to live the same lives as worldly people; therefore, they won’t be found in many of the same places.
This reminds me of a sign I once saw when I was young, and ever since then I have always strived to live by this:
“Don’t say anything you wouldn’t say, don’t do anything you wouldn’t do, don’t be anywhere you wouldn’t be, if Jesus were standing here.”
Actually, that might help yall understand why I am the way I am….
Don’t date someone you don’t know and don’t date someone without a reputation. Dating someone you don’t know is a huge risk and the relationship is usually built because one or both people only enjoy the attention. Know the person you are considering dating. Be friends first. Ask around about them. Dating shouldn’t be casual or nonchalant. You should be dating with the purpose to find a mate. If the person is not exactly what you’re looking for, walk away. It’s not worth it to think they will change, or think you can adjust. There is someone out there that’ll meet your qualifications, if you are meant to be married.
Also, reputations are important. Don’t date anyone without a reputation. Reputations can't be built in a day, so it will reflect who they really are. If he or she doesn’t have a reputation at all, even if there’s not a bad one, it’s still bad. If they don’t have the reputation of being a “shining star” or people even noticing that they are a good person, then you can do better.
Be modest. Look for modesty in a partner also. Dress attractively, but not to attract.
"Likewise women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works."
1 Timothy 2:9-10
"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body."
1 Corinthians 6:19-20
Your body is a temple. Your partner’s body is a temple. When looking to date someone, check his or her Facebook. Yes, I am promoting stalking. Look at their profile pictures, what are they showing off? Does every picture have skimpy clothing? Do the pictures often reflect a worldly lifestyle? These are the pictures they have chosen to reflect who they are; by looking at these pictures, you can see what is important to them.
Beauty is fleeting. Do not rely on looks alone, because in a few years, it’ll be gone. As much as I want to say looks aren’t important and focus on the internal beauty, I do think attraction is important in the beginning of a relationship, and I do want you to be attracted to the person you are with. But don’t find someone whose outer beauty is more attractive than his or her inner beauty.
Attractiveness is the best marketing strategy for you to marry the wrong person. Looks won’t last, and this is not what you’ll want long term. Your friendship, faith and commitment are what will keep you together.
"Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."
Look for this in a wife: "Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious."
Look for this in a husband: "Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money."
1 Timothy 3:2-3
Next up: Love, Faith and Purity…